stuck.

i need to blog.
i need to blog blog blog blog.
blog.

but lately my mind has felt more blank than it was before i challenged myself to update.
the thoughts just aren't coming!

it's like a self-sabotage for any potential project i am meant to create, before the creation even begins.


tonight i went to three-trees coffee house to see Dave preach. the room was filled with a beautiful, vast array of people.
old and young; rich and poor; healthy and ill.

and strange things started to happen.

a homeless vet in a wheelchair physically stood to his feet.
he was filled with the sensation from the Spirit and given strength from the Most High.
an ordinary man with back pain was healed in front of our eyes.

i began to feel something in our presence that was almost overwhelming.
i couldn't focus, couldn't believe the sorts of things i was seeing and hearing.
striking levels of emotion were at the forefront of the entire evening, and i walked out feeling

speechless.

the state i continue to be in, even now.



i've tried to create some ideas for upcoming projects, but i find that it's best not to rush these things. what i really need to be doing is working with a large range of prompts and building on daily observations. i've been lacking in the area of brainstorming and outlining.

i hate to make excuses for myself, as i am the only one in control of my time, but it has been difficult for me lately. it's difficult to feel inspired and to feel confident enough in your ideas to work with them and mold them into success. i don't know what i'm afraid of, but i do find myself making these excuses. i also find myself wasting far too many of those '144o minutes' and filling the space with nothing worthy of notation.

even if it takes active force, i refuse to allow myself to fall into the rut that i've sensed the beginnings of. i don't want to remain complacent or apathetic towards the things that i truly love.

i'm going to pray for communication, clarity, and conciseness this week. i need some help.